Dir Larry Charles

Starring Sacha Baron Cohen, Anna Faris, Sir Ben Kingsley

Runtime 80mins, Rating 15.

Plot summary: The heroic story of a dictator who risks his life to ensure that democracy would never come to the country he so lovingly oppressed.

Sacha Baron Cohen’s Channel 4 series “Da Ali G Show” rocketed him to international success and acclaim roughly ten years ago – the three main characters from that show have each enjoyed cinematic outings (to varying degrees of success) making the Dictator, General Aladeen his 1st original character to grace the silver screen. “Original” may be a misnomer however, as Aladeen is a gestalt surrogate used to embody every despotic cliché one can imagine.

The plot, such as it is, borrows heavily from Coming to America – Aladeen is ungraciously ripped from his luxuriant lifestyle and plonked penniless in Manhattan, shorn of comedy oversized beard or fawning acolytes. This fish out of water discovers he has a few days to reclaim his rightful place before Machiavellian antagonists replace him permanently and sell off his assets to Western corporations hungry for his nation’s oil reserves. As chance would have it, Aladeen crosses paths with a vegan feminist (Faris). Soon his path to redemption begins to unfurl in front of him.

Of course, all of this is mere place-setting for a relentless torrent of gags & skits that mine the baser depths of the comedy spectrum. Choosing a South Park-style approach to political correctness; every minority, race, religion, style tribe & lifestyle choice is attacked in some form of gross out gag, misanthropic put-down, or withering disdain. To SBC’s credit, the jokes come flying so frequently that even with roughly a 50% hit rate there’s enough wrongness to keep most audience members chuckling along.

With a runtime that barely eclipses an hour before the credits roll, the Dictator is brief enough to not outstay its welcome, but it does smack somewhat of a wasted opportunity that potentially could have provided a far more pointed and biting satire. A climactic speech hints at contemporaneous observational insight that could have achieved more were it spread throughout the movie.

SBC’s previous films have relied on using members of the public to be shocked into unwitting reactions and the spontaneous comedy that comes from these moments– the rodeo in Borat, the fashion show in Bruno and so on. With the Dictator, Cohen’s star has risen so high that such shock tactics would have proven futile. Consequently, with this scripted excursion , it feels like he has gone out of his way to be significantly more offensive and puerile to elicit a reaction from the paying audience. Whether he succeeds is something that only your own comedy sensibilities can decide: certainly some audience members chose to walk out at the screening I attended.

Unfortunately, the final impression is of somebody trying a bit too hard to replicate former glories and coming up short. Cohen is a natural comedian and a brilliant character actor – his turns in both Hugo and Sweeney Todd were both extremely good, which leads this reviewer to conclude that perhaps he is better suited to playing along in other people’s films.

The Dictator – you probably will laugh, but you won’t be proud of yourself for doing so.

2.5/5

This review was originally written for and posted on Blogomatic 3000

I’ve been waiting until I got that Party Mix done to start recording some fresh mixes.. Today I’m extremely bummed out by the sad passing of MCA from the Beastie Boys, so I figured I’d start off with a slightly melancholy, chilled out sort of a mix.

So, this one starts of kind of gentle, synthy & vocal, builds a bit with some percussive tracks, and generally gains momentum until Current Value’s remix of Bjork blasts the cobwebs away.. After that, it winds down again, finishing off with some lush ambience from Desolate & FSOL.

Hopefully you’ll enjoy it – come back soon for something more upfront & dancefloor orientated.

Stream on Mixcloud here

Download from Mediafire here

Tracklisting / Info:

00:00 Chromatics – There’s a Light Out On the Horizon

06:58 Alpines – Tremors (feat. Dark Sky)

12:37 Little Jinder – Keep On Dreaming – The Living Graham Bond Remix

15:22 Lazer Sword – Better From U

18:37 Pearson Sound – Untitled

24:43 West Norwood Cassette Library – Flashlight (Original Mix)

28:19 Tessela – Let Up

32:10 SBTRKT – Laika

36:13 Zomby – Rumours & Revelations

38:40 Hensen – Boss Mei

41:46 Timbah – Cuckoo Clock

45:44 Duct – Blackheath (Fybe:One Remix)

48:34 Benga – 01 I Will Never Change

51:33 iTAL tEK – Phantom

54:22 Photek & Pinch – Acid Reign (Pinchs Dubplate Version)

56:01 Kryptic Minds – The Talisman

58:13 DJG – Here Come The Dark Lights

1:01:18 Kromestar – Outer Limit VIP (feat. Team Starfleet)

1:06:49 Bjork and Current Value – Solstice (Current Value Remix)

1:08:07 Ryat – Howl

1:14:34 Kwes – klee

1:17:18 Gravenhurst – Islands

1:18:24 Desolate – Exclusion Of Light

1:28:00 The Future Sound Of London – The Wheel of Life

As ever, you can access a full archive of my mixes, all for free download from HERE

Recently I was asked to DJ at a friend’s party. Knowing that most of the attendees would be in their early 30s, I tailored the tracklist to be a “4 hours flashback” of big party tunes that we would all remember from our younger days.

Basically, if you were alive in the 1990′s, by rights you ought to have a fun time with this mix.

This is a live recording from the night, warts’n'all. Over the course of 4 hours you will hear more than 100 tracks covering hip hop, funk, soul, r’n'b, a smidgen of new jack swing, disco, breaks, house, techno, trance, dubstep, hardcore & drum’n'bass – every tune tailored for maximum party potential.. There’s even a bit of unashamed cheesy pop music in there!

Please listen, enjoy, share with others, and use responsibly.

You can stream OR download the full 4hr session from Soundcloud here:

PARTY MIX

If the download link expires, then you can grab it in 2 separate parts from mediafire:
Part 1
Part 2

Tracklist:

Part 1:
00:00 Also Sprach Zarathustra – Party Intro
02:30 Paul WIlliams – You Give a Little Love
10:46 House of Pain – Jump Around
13:09 Kriss Kross – Jump
15:00 Fatman Scoop – Be Faithful
16:56 Beyonce – Crazy In Love ft Jay Z -21st
19:35 Aerosmith & Run DMC – Walk This Way
21:52 Acapella Khia – My Neck My Back (Dirty Accapella)
26:30 Ike and Tina Turner – Nutbush City Limits
26:54 Toni Basil – Mickey
29:46 The Knack – My Sherona
32:24 SL2 – On A Ragga Tip
33:41 The Prodigy – Out of Space
35:30 Ini Kamoze – Here Comes the Hotstepper
37:08 Blackstreet – No Diggity
38:41 P. Diddy – All About The Benjamins
39:55 Roots Manuva – Witness (One Hope)
41:04 Kanye West – Gold Digger (Feat. Jamie Foxx)
44:59 Beats International – a1. dub be good to me
45:41 A Tribe Called Quest – Can I Kick It
48:08 Jurassic 5 – Jayou
49:47 Stevie Wonder – Superstition
52:07 Destiny’s Child & 10CC – Dreadlock Child
55:00 Jungle Brothers – Because I Got It Like That (Ultimatum Mix)
57:46 Fatboy Slim – Gangster Tripping
59:17 Beat Vandals – Money Banger
59:53 A-Skillz & Nick Thayer – Yap That Fool
1:02:09 Dj Kool – Let Me Clear My Throat
1:02:54 Ol’ Dirty Bastard – Got Your Money (Feat. Kelis)
1:04:02 Montell Jordan – This Is How We Do It
1:04:54 Wrecks-N-Effect – Rump Shaker
1:07:33 Notorious B.I.G. – Mo Money Mo Problems
1:08:29 Mark Ronson – Ooh Wee
1:10:11 Maceo & The Macks – Cross the tracks
1:12:54 Average White Band – Pick Up the Pieces
1:15:09 GEORGE CLINTON – ATOMIC DOG
1:17:20 bobby brown – my prerogative
1:18:50 Marlena Shaw – California soul (A.Skillz Remix)
1:21:51 The Heavy – How You Like Me Now
1:23:46 Queen – Another One Bits
1:25:59 Westbam – Alarm Clock
1:27:01 Banbarra – Shack Up
1:28:41 Skee-Lo vs Survivor – I Wish I Was A Tiger
1:29:38 Rob Base & DJ EZ Rock – It Takes Two
1:32:55 Vanilla Ice – Ice ice baby
1:34:55 Kelis – Milkshake remix
1:37:59 Tone-Loc – Funky Cold Medina
1:39:12 Michael Jackson – Billie Jean
1:40:49 Young M.C. – Bust A Move
1:44:50 Young MC – Know How
1:45:18 Herman Kelly and Life – Dance To The Drummer’s Beat
1:47:26 Daft Punk – Around the World
1:48:57 Tiga – Hot in Herre
1:52:35 Joe Goddard – Gabriel (Feat. Valentina)
1:53:41 Primary 1 – Princess (MJ Cole remix)
1:56:53 Tori Amos – Professional Widow (Armand Van Helden Remix)
1:58:30 CJ Bolland – Sugar Is Sweeter

Part 2:
2:03:15 187 Lockdown – Gunman (Original Mix)
2:05:27 Double 99 – Rip Groove
2:07:35 Zed Bias – Fairplay (feat. Jenna G) (Zed Bias Old Skool Remix)
2:10:49 Les Rythmes Digitales – From: Disco To: Disco
2:13:36 Stardust – Music Sounds Better With You (12” Club Mix)
2:15:18 Cassius – La Mouche Dj Falcon Mix
2:18:19 Alex Metric – Rave Weapon
2:22:38 Baby D – Let Me Be Your Fantasy
2:24:13 Rebel MC (feat Tenor Fly) – The Wickedest Sound (Don Gordon Mix)
2:26:50 Josh Wink – Higher State of Consciousness
2:29:50 Azzido Da Bass – Dooms Night
2:32:23 Twocker – Stitch (Bass Kleph Remix)
2:34:27 BODYROX – Yeah yeah (D. Ramirez mix)
2:37:16 Spektrum – mayday [DJ T Remix]
2:38:47 Booka Shade – Mandarine Girl (Album Version)
2:41:20 AZEALIA BANKS – 212
2:44:12 Les Visiteurs – Snoop’s Acid Drop
2:47:04 Fake Blood – Mars (Original Mix)
2:48:36 The Kills – Cheap And Cheerful (Fake Blood Remix)
2:49:25 Florence + the Machine – You’ve Got the Love (XX remix)
2:50:55 The Chemical Brothers – Hey Boy, Hey Girl (Soulwax Remix)
2:55:42 MGMT – Kids (Soulwax Remix)
2:57:25 Energy 52 – Cafe Del Mar ’98 (Original Mix)
2:59:53 DJ Misjah and DJ Tim – Access
3:05:19 Kernkraft 400 – Zombie Nation (Original Mix)
3:09:32 Katy B – Katy On A Mission
3:11:31 Flux Pavilion – Bass Cannon
3:14:35 The Prodigy – Voodoo People
3:16:24 Origin Unknown – Valley Of The Shadows
3:18:01 Human Traffic – Jungle Intro
3:19:08 ZInc – reachout rmx
3:20:20 The Ganja Kru & Zinc – Super Sharp Shooter
3:23:44 Tribe Of Issachar – Original Junglist
3:26:25 DJ SS – the_lighter
3:29:27 NATURAL BORN CHILLERS – ROCK THE FUNKY BEAT
3:31:17 Micky Finn & Aphrodite – Bad Ass
3:33:26 Jungle Brothers – Jungle Brother [Aphrodite Mix]
3:36:47 Pendulum – Tarantula (featuring Fresh, Spyda and Tenor Fly)
3:39:10 Jazzsteppas – Raising the Bar (feat. Foreign Beggars) Stray Remix
3:40:20 Knife Party – Crush On You (VIP Mix)
3:43:24 Ms Dynamite – Neva Soft Nu:tone Remix
3:46:20 Knife Party – Destroy Them With Lazers
3:48:21 Knife Party – Internet Friends
3:50:26 Kaskade & Skrillex – Lick It (Extended Mix)
4:01am 3:52:38 Kill The Noise – Kill The Noise (Alvin Risk Remix)
4:18:13 Liquid – Sweet Harmony
4:18:28 Radiohead – Reckoner (Leftside Wobble’s Off World Remix)

If you enjoy any section of this mix, then I urge you to visit & bookmark
78 MIXES FOR FREE
Where you can find a full archive of all of my 78 mixes recorded to date, all available for free download via Mediafire – something for everyone there, have a look.

Well, hello again!

I dare say I feel like we’ve been here before, but let’s not dwell on that for now.. Having spent the last year or so archiving my old mixes online, I was delighted to discover that Rapidshare had taken it upon themselves to delete all of my content, render all my links useless and accept no liability, despite my paying 45-odd Euros a year for the privilege. So yea, thanks Rapidshare, thanks a bunch. You guys Rawk!

Anyway, like a crispy phoenix rising from the ashes, this has given me impetus to dust up around here, splash some new paint on the walls, get rid of that giant spider’s nest in the corner, replace the missing light bulbs, all that jazz. As it so happens, it appears we’re approaching Clockwork Shorts’ 4th birthday, so we can consider this a lovely shiny birthday present for both the site and you, my legion of ravenous fans.

“What is he wittering on about??” I imagine you asking…Shiny site upgrade, new mixy linky.

We’ve got a lot to get through, so we ought to get cracking really.  My new preferred hosting site is Mediafire, and hopefully it’ll stay that way. The interface is a lot more user friendly, there’s no need to pay for anything, no waiting times or Russian proxy servers, just an old fashioned Link To Download.

From now on, all of my mixes will be going into this folder:

Mediafire – Orangewarrior Mixes

You can jump straight there right now if you so desire and start to help yourself to free downloads of all of my mixes.

All being well, each of these download links should deliver to you an hour or so of lovingly hand-crafted quality music, each morsel embedded with “cover” artwork and a full tracklist hidden in the Lyrics information.. go on, give it a try.

Some of you may be requiring a tad more information than that, so allow me to detail further.  Click on each mix title below to download the file, or click Info to see the tracklisting, duration, and all other relevant details.

If you’re new to this site, hello & welcome – please just feel free to dip in and try whatever takes your fancy – most of the mix titles should give a vague appreciation for what sort of music lurks within.. Over the course of this selection you should find most forms of modern electronic music: ambient, chill out, hip hop, funk, trip hop, beats, breaks, bass, disco, cosmic, house, electro, garage, uk funky, future garage, tropical, techno, trance, acid, minimal, rave, nu rave, old rave, party anthems, dubstep, brostep, thugstep, chillstep, wobble, old skool hardcore, jungle, drum and bass, juke, footwurk,  moombahton, moombahcore, mashups, and a myriad more, not forgetting bagpipe techno of course.

Mixes:

1. 1998 Chill Out Why Don’t you?   Info

2. 1998 El Ectro   Info

3. 1998 Jedi Breaks   Info

4. 2004 Breaks Party Mix   Info

5. 2004 Party Beats Demo (Bar Room Beats)   Info

6. 2005.01 The House of Symphony   Info

7. 2005.02 From Hoxton to Berlin   Info

8. 2005.03 Xmas Mix   Info

9. 2006.01 Acen Megamix   Info

10. 2006.02 Dirty Techno Trousers   Info

11. 2006.03 Drumrolls and 303s   Info

12. 2006.04 Harder than your Mum   Info

13. 2006.05 Funkier Than a Mosquito’s Tweeter   Info

14. 2006.06 Hardcore & Jungle   Info

15. 2006.07 Old Skool Ardkore   Info

16. 2006.08 Old Skool Drum & Bass 1   Info

17. 2006.09 Old Skool Drum & Bass 2   Info

18. 2006.10 Return to the Jungle   Info

19. 2006.11 Robot Computer Monkey   Info

20. 2006.12 Xmas part 1   Info

21. 2006.13 Xmas part 2   Info

22. 2007.01 28 Quid can get you a Long Way   Info

23. 2007.02 Bring the Noisia!   Info

24. 2007.03 Bring MORE Noisia!   Info

25. 2007.04 Xmas part 1   Info

26. 2007.05 Xmas part 2   Info

27. 2008.01 Dust off those Winter Blues   Info

28. 2008.02 Robo Suite 1 Ambient   Info

29. 2008.03 Valentines Mix.. for the lovers   Info

30. 2008.04 Robo Suite 2 Fidget House   Info

31. 2008.05 Robo Suite 3 Fake Blood & Mad Decent   Info

32. 2008.06 Bassic Techniques   Info

33. 2008.07 Robo Suite 4 Nu Rave & Bass   Info

34. 2008.08 Robo Suite 5 Electro Breaks   Info

35. 2008.09 Space Disco (Tribute to Linstrom & Prins Thomas)   Info

36. 2008.10 Robo Suite 6 Minimal & Tech House   Info

37. 2008.11 Robo Suite 7 Bliss House   Info

38. 2008.12 A Skillz & Party Beats   Info

39. 2008.13 Xmas Part 1   Info

40. 2008.14 Xmas Part 2

41. 2008.15 Xmas Part 3

42. 2008.16 Xmas Part 3

43. 2008.17 Xmas Part 4

44. 2008.18 Xmas Part 5

45. 2009.01 BASS Mix for Solid Steel   Info

46. 2009.02 Robo Suite 8 Cosmic Disco   Info

47. 2009.03 Robo Suite 9 Ghoststep I   Info

48. 2009.04 Robo Suite 10 Mad Decent & breaks   Info

49. 2009.05 Robo Suite 11 Thugstep   Info

50. 2009.06 Robo Suite 12 MOAR BASS   Info

51. 2009.07 Robo Suite 13 Winter Disco   Info

52. 2009.08 Robo Suite 14 Girly Dancing   Info

53. 2010.01 Robo Suite 15 Wonky, Chill-step & Joytronica   Info

54. 2010.02 Robo Suite 16 Funky House   Info

55. 2010.03 Robo Suite 17 Deep Funky House   Info

56. 2010.04 Robo Suite 18 Broken Beat & Bass   Info

57. 2010.05 Robo Suite 19 Mellow & Synthwave   Info

58. 2010.06 Lazy Cosmic Disco Mix   Info

59. 2010.07 Robo Suite 20 Funky   Info

60. 2010.08 Big Room House   Info

61. 2010.09 Four Tet Remix mix mix   Info

62. 2010.10 Funky & D’n’B   Info

63. 2010.11 Xmas part 1   Info

64. 2010.12 Xmas part 2

65. 2011.01 Techno & House   Info

66. 2011.02 Wobble Hip Hop   Info

67. 2011.03 Ghoststep II   Info

68. 2011.04 Bass & Rave Mix for Bangface   Info

69. 2011.05 Percussive Funky Tropical Bass   Info

70. 2011.06 Rottun Jelly Brostep Mix   Info

71. 2011.07 Epic Chill Out Mix   Info

72. 2011.08 100bpm mix   Info

73. 2011.09 Bliss Drone Ambient Mix   Info

74. 2011.10 Bass Juke Jungle Dubstep Moombah Mix (Solid Steel)   Info

75. 2011.11 House & Techno   Info

76. 2011.12 Chilled Dubstep Mix (Ghoststep III)   Info

77. 2011.13 Xmas Best of 2011   Info

78. 2012.01 January Juke   Info

Let’s hope Mediafire links have more longevity than Rapidshare’s!

I urge you to download as much as you like – be it one Acen mix or the whole bleedin’ lot.

Feel free to share, tweet, comment, email, and most importantly come back for more.

Welcome to 2012!

Recently I’ve been enjoying the production work of artists like Om Unit, Machine Drum, Ital Tek, and folks of similar ilk, so it behoves me to present to you an hour long mix of these sorts of beats for your own listening pleasure.

The flexibility of the bpm is something that really intruiges me here: you can have full on, banging tunes of 160pm, or halve the tempo and  mix in pleasingly gentle 80bpm atmospheric stuff – hopefully this comes through in the mix.

Please listen, download, enjoy & share!

To stream on Mixcloud click HERE.

To download a 320kbps mp3 from Rapidshare click HERE.

Tracklisting / Info:

Runtime: 1hour.

320kbps / 146Mb.

 Feel free to leave comments below, or click to share on twitter & facebook.  :)

Welcome to Clockwork Shorts – allow me to wish you a joyous, fruitful and relaxing holiday season, wherever you are.  When you find that you have a bit of time to kill, please bookmark and come back here to enjoy my round up of movies & music from 2011..

After a couple of weeks of fairly intensive blogging, it’s time to wave a fond farewell to this year and count down the days until Armageddon (Friday 21st December 2012, just in case you weren’t sure).
I thought it would only be sensible to provide a page with links to all the other posts to ease your navigation & my organisation, so here we all are!

Firstly, and most importantly:

THE CLOCKWORK SHORTS XMAS “BEST OF 2011″ MIX CAN BE FOUND HERE

Please have a listen – you may even be pleasantly surprised, who knows? I think I’ve managed to largely keep the bagpipe techno and Navajo nose flute whistling to only a few tunes this year, so perhaps the rest is vaguely tolerable.

Whilst we’re on the mixing theme, let’s count the rest of them down:

MIXES

12: House, Funky, Minimal & Techno

11: Wobble Bass Hip Hop

10: Ghoststep II – Chilled Dubstep & Future Garage

9: Banging Rave & Wobble Mix

8: Heads Down Percussive Funky & Tropical

7: Heavy Dubstep & Brostep Mix

6: Classic Chill Out & Trip Hop Mix

5: 100bpm Lounge & Bass Mix

4: Bliss Drone Ambient Chill Mix

3: Acid House & Techno Mix

2: Chilled Dubstep Mix

1: Bass & Rave, Juke & Jungle Mix

Staying on the topic of music, we should next tackle my choices for Top Ten Albums of 2011.  I tend to prefer to just mix music and let it speak for itself than write about it normally, so this was a bit of an experiment for me.  I hope they were of adequate quality to your delectation..

THE ALBUMS OF 2011

10: Vanilla – High Life

9: James Blake – James Blake

8: Lanu – Her Twelve Faces

7: Gatto Fritto – Gatto Fritto

6: Sun Glitters – Everything Could Be Fine

5: Africa Hitech – 93 Million Miles

4: Rustie – Glass Swords

3: Kuedo – Severant

2: Machinderum – Room(s)

1: Amon Tobin – ISAM

oh, and of course, Bjork’s Biophilia was my chosen Stinker of the Year .

Last but by no means least is my selection of the Top Ten Films of the Year, quite a hard list to choose, I Must say:

THE FILMS OF 2011

10: BUNRAKU

9: The Woman

8: Hesher

7: Hanna

6: Marwencol

5: Take Shelter

4: Rango

3: Rise of the Planet of the Apes

2: Submarine

1: Tree Of Life

Transformers 3D was my chosen Stinker of the Year and in actual fact I got so worked up about it that I accidentally typed out a 2,000 word essay on the matter.. So, that should kill a lunch break when you’re bored, I reckon.

I feel I should make a disclaimer of sorts – there are many films that might well have made the list that I am still keen to see but have as yet failed to do so: Drive, Tinker Tailor, Kill List, The Ides of March, Contagion and War Horse are just a handful that spring to mind. Still circumstance can prevent these things from happening sometimes, and anyway, what the hell’s the point in my wittering on about a film that you know and like already?

In actual fact, if you’re morbidly curious, you can see a complete chronological list of films I’ve watched in 2011 HERE .  Yes, there IS an awful lot of dreck, isn’t there?

A considerable amount of time effort and energy has been put into getting all of this content onto Clockwork Shorts, so I genuinely do hope that you find the time and the inclination to read at least one or two articles, dip your ears in one of the mixes, hey maybe even share the links with other people you think might enjoy a good read, dance, or even a meditation tape.

Please come back in 2012 when I will do my damndest to get some more movie reviews written, along with the regular(-ish) monthly mixes and perhaps some exciting surprises (woo!)

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you – may your loved ones remain happy and healthy, and let us all snuggle together as we watch the gradual crumbling of society and civilised behaviour whilst Armageddon looms ahead.. Only twelve months to go, let’s make the most of it, or failing that, at least get to see Batman in the IMAX.

ta ta for now.

Duncan Orangewarrior

Well, here we are – a mix for your delectation and Christmas relaxation – the tracklist is made largely of tunes or artists that have featured in the Clockwork Shorts Albums of The Year Top Ten list.

Tracklist / Info:

00:16 Ltj Bukem / Phillip D Kick – Horizons (Phillip D Kick’s footwork jungle edit)
01:11 Machinedrum – Now U Know The Deal 4 Real
05:11 Ital Tek – Pixel Haze
08:00 The Weeknd – High_For_This (NastyNasty Remix)
12:14 Kuedo – Reality Drift
14:46 Delilah – Go
18:23 Sun Glitters x Halls – Sun Glitters – too much to lose (Halls Remix)
20:03 Sun Glitters – Time (Better Not Stop)
24:43 Com Truise – Cathode Girls
27:58 Om Unit – Swimming Dragon
33:01 Silent Dust – The Giant (Om Unit Remix)
35:24 Korallreven – Sa Sa Samoa
39:47 Washed Out – A Dedication
44:09 James Blake – I Never Learnt To Share
48:42 M83 – Midnight City
50:19 Gatto Fritto – Hex
54:23 Nicolas Jaar – Too Many Kids Finding Rain In The Dust
1:01:14 The Chemical Brothers – Hanna’s theme

Duration 1hr 5mins
File size : 150Mb , 320kbps

You can download the file from HERE
or Stream it on Mixcloud HERE.

Please Enjoy, feel free to share, and have a Merry Christmas!

Inevitably there were some rotten films in 2011. Some, I was alert enough to avoid like the plague and spare myself the harm: Twilight for example, or Mars Needs Moms, or Hop, or Apollo 18. Others, I somehow managed to subject myself to: Russel Brand’s Arthur springs to mind. Brand’s charmless pasquinade of English eccentricity coming off as a mentally subnormal Mick Jagger lookalike managed to push Anti-UK xenophobia back another century and smashed up the Batmobile in the process. Still, I can’t quite muster the energy to rattle off a full Bottom Ten of terrible films. I’m sure you saw the ones you hated the most.

That being said however, I have a particular axe to grind, and whilst I may as well be bellowing into the abyss, I may as well as get it off my chest.

Let’s go back, let’s go way back.. Let’s go all the way back to 1984, Surrey, England. A rather excitable carrot-topped 7 year old is to be found sat in front of the sitting room telly in his tartan pyjamas and dressing gown. Wacaday’s been and gone and He-Man’s just finished, so it’s not long before it’ll be time to turn over to Saturday Superstore, but just then before he gets up to press the big “1″ button, something quite magical happens.. This:

Of course the little ginge was me, and as I sat there entranced by these cars and planes that could magically turn into fighting robots with axes and chain maces for hands, I instantly fell in love.

Now, it could well be that you’re sat there in the 21st Century sneering at the judgement of a small child from 30-odd years ago, but so it goes sometimes. Other kids had Star Wars (remember that?) but My Thing was Transformers. Yea, Bandai tried to con us with Gobots, but you can’t just tell kids that a windscreen is a face, where are the eyes for starters?? Don’t even get me started on Rock Lords. . . I would save up all of my pocket money to get my hands on the little toy blighters (not Bumblebee though – he was rubbish). I dutifully went to see the cartoon film in ’85 and wept as Optimus died (spoilers!); I even recall co-ordinating one birthday party’s presents, Cartman-like, so that I might hope to have all of the Arialbots to combine into Superion.
For several years I would get the Marvel comic delivered with my parents’ newspapers – woe betide the paperboy if a Friday breakfast was Transformers-light. Little did I realise it at such a tender age, but on a weekly basis, I was enjoying some of the finest science fiction / pulp storytelling and mythology building, courtesy of the inestimable Simon Furman. Yes, the cartoons were just glorified toy commercials, but Furman’s work rounded the Autobots and Decepticons into fallible personalities, just as nuanced as their human counterparts.

There does of course come a time to put away childish things, and once Transformers UK reached its 200th issue in early ’89 I decided it was time to cancel my subscription and give away all the comic books. After all, Warhammer 40,000 looked Far more grown up (tragic isn’t it?) Still, that intense five year first love affair had left an indelible mark – one that still has me getting irrationally excited by anything with a fearsome looking robot in it: be it an album cover, a work of art (graffiti normally) or, would you believe, a multi-million dollar movie franchise that boasts some of the biggest explosions recorded on film.

So yes, I’ve wasted all of your time up until now with my Harry Knowles-style confessional autobiography to establish one vital, important fact. I bloody LOVE Transformers.

Which of course brings us to the Paramount / Dreamworks / Hasbro car-wreck (literally) that is Michael Bay’s Transformers.
The first one was pretty good in retrospect, it seemed to be in keeping with the stories from the 80s, cosmetic adjustments aside. We got to see the Cybertronian War come to Earth and we got to see giant robots punch each other in the head for a couple of hours, so that was a result. Whilst slight and brainless, it also felt like it was laying the groundwork for a larger, epic storyline that would be delivered in the sequel.. Transformers 2 though, oh my, what a mess, what a disappointment! I wrote a review at the time which you can find on this site, and I desperately tried to convince myself that it was not that bad, choosing to enjoy the effects and ignore the flaws, but really the film was an affront to pretty much everyone who went to see it – I mean, the trailers had made it look like a fantastically epic adventure, but instead we got lazy racism, bad humour, and giant clanking robot testicles.
Audiences continued to flock to the spectacle but were equally vocal about what a hollow, trashy, and offensive film it was.

When the inevitable threequel was announced, Michael Bay, Shia TheBeef and many others went to great pains to proclaim that this time it would be different – there had been a writer’s strike last time; this one would go much deeper into the Transformers mythology; the crap humour and racism had been excised; we’d concentrate on the robots more than the humans. It’s be this, it’d be that, it’d be everything you wanted from a film called Transformers.
It Would Be Awesome.

Trailers can often be misleading, and Bay’s team have a disturbing knack of putting exciting ones together. It would take a cold heart to deny that this looks like a fun time is to be had in the cinema:

3 hours of robot carnage – of interplanetary war, of Cybertronian Armageddon: cool fight scenes, human peril and robots in disguise.
Sadly however, the truth was quite another story altogether.

First off, Shia’s character Sam is the most hateable human being in the entirety of cinema’s existence – whining about how he only got a medal for “saving the world” and resenting his rent-free unemployed residence in the home of a sexually adventurous lingerie model. Sympathetic protagonist or relatable hero he ain’t, and from the first scene of his bile spewing rhetoric, you can’t wait for him to get crushed underfoot by a malevolent mechanoid.
The other humans don’t fare so well either – said aforementioned model seemingly lacks the ability to say words in her mother tongue, the tedious unfunny parents are back, the shouty US Marines are more of a cypher than actual characters, and indie alumni like John Malkovich & Frances McDormand really have no excuse whatsoever.

As if the dead eyed human tedium wasn’t bad enough, there is a full NINETY minutes of seemingly interminable mugging to camera before anything remotely of interest happens. When it eventually does, none of it makes any sense, and nobody cares. The film can’t even be bothered to follow it’s own internal logic, just blindly stumbling from one incomprehensible blender-fart of a set piece to the next without any regard for the laws of, say, storytelling, basic physics, audience interest, or entertainment.

One pleasant side effect of the (near-inscrutable) 3D stereoscopic presentation of this film was that it HAD to slow down the action to give people’s brains time to process exactly what was happening on screen – for several moments in the film, you can indeed work out vaguely what is supposed to be going on, but Michael Bay just can’t help himself and the next flash frame we’re off up some girl’s skirt, laughing at a tiny robot making sex /fart jokes, or just happily dribbling out the sides of our mouths. If this is indeed “Fucking The Frame” then maybe Bay should try taking the frame for dinner first, lighting some candles, putting on some Alexander O’Neal, and taking his time for once, rather than rutting away innefectively like an ADD-afflicted teenager dry humping a puddle of motor oil whilst listening to Nu Metal cds.

What is possibly the most offensive aspect of the entire franchise to this lifelong Transformers fan is just how completely and utterly fucking dickless the Autobots are. Admittedly, they’ve taken a pasting in the past, and one had put it down to narrative tension, but this is the third (and supposedly final..until the B.O. receipts came in) installment, so it should be their time to shine. But no as ever, Optimus and his gang are just as ineffective as ever, paying fealty to their draconian human overlords and perpetually apologising for their own existence.

The Big Hero Moment of the film was teased in the trailers and it was a shot that every Transformers fan wanted to see – Optimus riding into town with a jetpack on his back and flaming swords in each hand: taking names, chopping limbs and cracking skulls… But in the actual film, that isn’t the end of the story, no he keeps on flying along like Frank Spencer on rollerskates, totally out of control and ending up tangled in a mess of wires, mumbling apologies and thank yous as some nameless droids cut him free and the grown ups get on with the important business of saving the world. Seriously, if you can’t allow the Hero of the film to behave like a hero, then why are we even here? Give the guy some dignity for chrissakes.

Although disappointed by the film when led by the nose to see it in IMAX 3D over the Summer, I figured I could have just been having a bad day and decided to give it a second shot when the bluray came out. It was about an hour into the film that a “hilariously” orange spray-tanned John Malkovich could be seen threatening Bumblebee with karate chops. Like everything else in this film, it was stupid, pointless, devoid of any logic or narrative, and basically quite boring. It was at this point that the wife & I decided to turn it off and watch Spooks instead.

So, Congratulations Michael Bay, over the course of three films you have manage to make me hate the things I loved – I would rather watch an over-wrought British facsimile of 24 than endure another minute of your mindless dreck. I’m sure you couldn’t care less, and will happily rest easy in your mansion built entirely out of dollar bills and bikini thongs, but it is a sad day indeed for an individual such as I who was once so passionate and enthusiastic about the ongoing exploits of our Cybertronian allies.

Transformers 3: Dark Of The Moon is without a doubt the worst film of the year. Avoid it at all costs.

First things first, I’ve chosen my words very carefully in the title above and feel like perhaps I should clarify myself. I don’t think it would be fair to label Biophilia as “The Worst Album of The Year” by any stretch of the imagination, but perhaps it is the most disappointing, and that disappointment stinks.

I am a big fan of Bjork’s music – I recall seeing The Sugarcubes perform “Hit” on The Word and rushing out to the shops the next day to buy the CD single. Debut was hugely hyped upon release but has aged very well, Post was much more than just “It’s Oh So Quiet,” thankfully. It was with Homogenic though that Bjork’s music reached stratospheric heights and has pretty much there stayed ever since. I’ll be the first to admit that her music is not for everyone, and indeed it’s her unrelenting quest for sonic experimentation and innovation that continues to give her the edge over other “out there” vocalists & performers.

You can imagine then that the news of a new Bjork album in 2011 was greeted with boundless enthusiasm and excitement. My “bucket list” of performers to see live pretty much has only her left on it (assuming Mad Ragga Jon isn’t staging a comeback any time soon) so that was something to look forward to. Also, whilst 2007′s Volta album was pretty darned good, one couldn’t help but feel that maybe it wasn’t Bjork using her full potential – yeah, there were some cracking tunes, and the remix packages were largely excellent (particularly Modeselektor’s remix of Dull Flame of Desire) but nothing on there truly felt like it had that alchemical blend of the wildly esoteric and anthemic that earlier songs of hers still have to this day.

Irrationally high hopes were raised for some sort of masterpiece from Biophilia – something fittingly kooky, unique, striking and timeless. When the video promo for Crystalline arrived, signs continued to be strong – especially after what happens 3 minutes into the tune:

Ludicrous outfits, hyper-energetic visuals, crap dancing, and a terrifying wall of drums that hinted at the promise of a full album of similarly bombastic and schizophrenic music. Brilliant.

This is the point at which we discuss the app..

Biophilia’s USP was that it was not only a concept album of ten songs, but that collectively we were kicking down technological boundaries: this album was INTERACTIVE! Yes, Biophilia arrived on a tsunami of techno-babbled hype about how it would transcend physical formats (CDs? Sod off Grandad!) and be a piece of touch screen interactive software.. an App, if you will. Looking at the video above, you may agree that it looks like a hugely engaging & entertaining way to explore the music and the “universe” that had been woven around it. However, what did not become apparent until very late in the day was that this app (and as a direct result the full album experience) was exclusively available on iTunes for Mac users. When pressed in interviews about catering to alternative platforms, say Windows or Android, Bjork herself was kind of flippant & dismissive, saying something like “Oh, I hear that apps are quite easy to rip – I’m sure someone out there will rip it for those others.” Well, I guess it’s only 2 and a half months since the release date but in technology terms that’s a lifetime, and as far as my googling powers can tell, there still isn’t an Android format available – either legally or otherwise.

You may have guessed from the previous paragraph – I myself am a Windows and Android user. My reasons for being so are multiform and far too convoluted to go into detail here, but one that bears mentioning is the hegemony of a near-religious fanaticisim of a designer toy, and the subsequent monopoly over creativity & expression. I’m not quite wearing my tin foil hat just yet, but I think there should always be room for consumers to choose a viable alternative in a competitive market place. By choosing to neglect that alternative, Bjork effectively made a political statement (however slight) and demonstrated that she was only interested in catering to Apple fans. To many such as myself, it felt like a bit of a two fingered salute.

Listening to Biophilia itself (on mp3), it’s pleasant enough I suppose, but two main resounding thoughts constantly spring to mind. Firstly, it’s so spacious and languid, eschewing “traditional” song structures in preference of abstracted sonic landscapes and Bjork’s trademark ee.nun.see.haaaaay.shun, well I have to say, it’s a little bit boring. Secondly though, one can’t help but listen to it and imagine all the fun those Apple users are having, watching the visuals, playing with musical nodes as the melodies tinkle away. It would be overly harsh to say that Biophilia is a video game soundtrack, but it is the musical layer of a multi-sensory experience as envisioned by the creative mind behind it. To merely “listen” to Biophilia is just as incomplete an experience as to watch a film with the sound down.

Never mind, I thought to myself, so the album is a lost cause – at least I can get to see Bjork live at last, experience that amazing voice of hers, gasp in awe at the Tesla coil instrumentation, the ostentatious set dressing & livery, and all other bonkers sorts of affectations befitting an entertainer of her stature. But no, the live show never toured the country – Bjork had a short term residency in the Manchester International Festival for about 3 weeks- tickets were like gold dust, most sold out within minutes, and then the usual ridiculous ebay ticket pricing scams ensued. Not entirely Bjork’s fault, admittedly, but I can’t have been the only member of her legion of fans who was crossing their fingers and waiting for the “inevitable” tour dates to be announced, only to be left wanting. A second two fingered salute in the space of one album’s promotion.

So, in summary – Biophilia – not a bad album, not a great one either, but ultimately it felt like a rather private party to which only certain fans were invited. It’s hard for a fan to enthuse about an artist when they don’t seem particularly interested in allowing the audience to enjoy the art they have created.

Exclusivity stinks I’m afraid, and so too does Biophilia. You Apple lot are welcome to it.

As soon as I started to write these end of year blogs, I knew exactly what would sit proudly at the top. Amon Tobin’s ISAM album is his seventh for Ninjatune records in 15 years (not including Solid Steel Mixes) but this is his first that is completely and utterly peerless.

Tobin’s body of work has evolved over the years: his mid 90′s album as Cujo could be described as trip-hop; Bricolage and Permutation were beefed up forays into drum’n'bass and heavy hip hop, then Supermodified refined this sound more accessibly into a shape that can now be heard soundtracking most Top Gear montages. His next album began to incorporate visual elements and was also exemplary in the way the tunes segued together. Foley Room then saw Tobin eschew traditional samples, instead composing tunes entirely out of self-sourced field recordings. ISAM has amalgamated all of these developments, then inevitably pushed the artistry even further.

Sonically obtuse yet somehow accessible, ISAM can only really be explained in wildly hyperbolic metaphor. . . It is the sound of an army of skyscraper-sized Gundam mechanoids waging war inside a haunted Victorian dolls house; it is a Cybertronian lullaby performed in an insect’s dream; it’s the sound of a Galaxian spacecraft rotting away whilst inextricably being sucked into a supernova. That enough twaddle? Good.

Like I say – kind of hard to describe.. What I can say is that Tobin has delivered an hour of unbelievably detailed abstract music. It has no repetitive beats but will still make you want to dance; it has fat slabs of deep, angry bass that would have dubstep producers like Skrillex running for cover, dappled with playful nursery melodies and jingles that will lodge inside your head for days; it has plaintive sing-song vocals that can sound both innocent and ominous at once. No one track sounds remotely incongruous, in fact the album is far more effective when listened to as a continuous whole rather than cherry-picked individual tunes on your ipod. Whilst hard to explain what it may be, there is a distinct feeling of a narrative thread that pulls it all together. Put it on your headphones and you will struggle to find a more three dimensional soundscape to immerse yourself in, play it in the car and the bass will have your dentures rattling.

So far, I’ve only concentrated on what you might find on the CD, but it’s at this point I’ll advise you to click here and watch this illuminating video clip:

The Creators Project: Amon Tobin

(It doesn’t want to embed it seems, so please remember to pop back here once you’re done!)

Now take a peek at this one too:

You back? Jolly Good . . As you can see, ISAM has evolved into a wildly ambitious (and successful) live show – I was lucky enough to see a performance this year and I can honestly say I’ve never seen anything like it (or, well, what I Could see, beyond an ocean of tall people holding camera phones in the air). Such as the tracks are woven inextricably together, so the music is now entwined with the visuals on show. A fantastic achievement by all involved, and a level of technical proficiency that has yet to be matched by any other live audio/visual production.

The thing is, Tobin is not just without rival in his production skills, but he inspires a level of excellence in designers and creatives who have been exposed to his music. The top video above shows artist Tessa Farmer’s unsettling & imaginative sculptural work that she created to accompany the album, and I have a smattering of short video clips which you have to see: each of them both excellently & lovingly crafted, whilst also using Tobin’s music as a inspiration & starting block..

This is from Jim Jam Graphics and XYZee Design:

This is by Daniel Schwarz:

..and this final clip is from BLR FX using elements of Tobin’s remix of Noisia’s Machine Gun:

I think you get the general idea!

For about twenty years I have always held the Aphex Twin as the best electronic musician of my generation, but it has taken until ISAM for me to realise that his throne has been usurped: Amon Tobin is the reigning king of electronic production, pushing sonics in ways that the rest of us mere mortals cannot even begin to imagine or understand. Long may he continue to do so.

ISAM is available now from Ninjatune records. I can’t wait to get my hands on the DVD of the live show, surfacing some time in the New Year.

The full Clockwork Shorts 2011 retrospective of Movies, Music & Mixes can be browsed for your pleasure right HERE
Merry Christmas and a Happy New 2012!